Caleb is now 2 months old. I haven't dropped him or forgotten him anywhere; though I did have a brief moment of panic as I was driving to the store and looked in my rearview mirror to check the little guy out only to see that he wasn't there. I quickly realized that he was at home with Grammy.I'm not going to lie, the past 2 months have been tough...really tough. The first few weeks I was in a complete daze. I don't think I could have spelled my last name if you asked me. The last few weeks have been better. Honestly no one tells you the really hard stuff of having a baby. I don't know maybe it's just me, but I have a feeling I'm not alone. Let me start by saying I love my son, but I've been waiting for this magic bond that I thought was supposed to automatically be there between us. Most days I feel like he could care less who holds him or feeds him or changes his diaper; as long as it gets done. But seriously, I can't wait for the days when he lifts his hands up for me to hold him, or when a stranger enters the room and he immediately looks to me for reassurance or when he is really fussy and just wants his mom. I know those days will come. And I have to be really careful not to wish these early months away, but some days are just tough.He does make us laugh though. His favorite thing to do is wait until the opportune moment when you’re not paying attention and his
diaper is off to pee all over you and himself. He got himself good in the eye the other day. It's a good thing his urine is sterile! He's growing so fast. At his last appointment he was 11lbs. That is a far cry from his preemie 5lbs 3oz. He's starting to get cute chubby little rolls on his legs and a double chin. I still stare at him and can't believe that Nigel and I made him. We get to know each other more and more every day. He's starting to be more aware of his surroundings. He stares at my face when I feed him; studying me and checking me out. When we drop him of at my mom's for a day I miss him terribly which makes me feel human. We're so blessed that he is healthy and thriving and I feel honored to be his mom.
Caleb is now 2 months old. I haven't dropped him or forgotten him anywhere; though I did have a brief moment of panic as I was driving to the store and looked in my rearview mirror to check the little guy out only to see that he wasn't there. I quickly realized that he was at home with Grammy.I'm not going to lie, the past 2 months have been tough...really tough. The first few weeks I was in a complete daze. I don't think I could have spelled my last name if you asked me. The last few weeks have been better. Honestly no one tells you the really hard stuff of having a baby. I don't know maybe it's just me, but I have a feeling I'm not alone. Let me start by saying I love my son, but I've been waiting for this magic bond that I thought was supposed to automatically be there between us. Most days I feel like he could care less who holds him or feeds him or changes his diaper; as long as it gets done. But seriously, I can't wait for the days when he lifts his hands up for me to hold him, or when a stranger enters the room and he immediately looks to me for reassurance or when he is really fussy and just wants his mom. I know those days will come. And I have to be really careful not to wish these early months away, but some days are just tough.He does make us laugh though. His favorite thing to do is wait until the opportune moment when you’re not paying attention and his 
diaper is off to pee all over you and himself. He got himself good in the eye the other day. It's a good thing his urine is sterile! He's growing so fast. At his last appointment he was 11lbs. That is a far cry from his preemie 5lbs 3oz. He's starting to get cute chubby little rolls on his legs and a double chin. I still stare at him and can't believe that Nigel and I made him. We get to know each other more and more every day. He's starting to be more aware of his surroundings. He stares at my face when I feed him; studying me and checking me out. When we drop him of at my mom's for a day I miss him terribly which makes me feel human. We're so blessed that he is healthy and thriving and I feel honored to be his mom. 
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